Decapitating St. Joseph

Who wants to hear a funny story that summarizes how awesome I am?

Remember our first house…

We wanted to sell it so we didn’t have to pay for it and our new house…even though two mortgages did sound really fun…

This lovely home was on the market for 2 or 3 months with no lookers.  I was stressing out…because that’s what I do best. I then heard about a centuries-old tradition claiming that burying a statue of St. Joseph in the yard helps homes sell faster.  Bury a statue and sell your home.  Sounds like it will totally work.  I’m in.  What could go wrong?

I set off to the nearest Christian store to look for my statue.  $12 and he was mine.

I get home and excitedly open the package…bring on the closing!  I then accidently drop St. Joseph onto the counter.  His head breaks off….and rolls under the stove…seriously.  I wish I was making this up.

I start crying hysterically.  I call Nate and freak him out.  I’m so hysterical that he thinks I was in a car wreck or Ike ran away.  Nope, I just ruined the sale of our home…forever….and St. Joseph’s head is still under the stove. This can’t be good.

Nate gets home. He retrieves St. Joseph’s head and suggests that I superglue it back on…(I was also really good with a camera back in the day…)

Good as new right? I buried him according to the “directions”. Our home didn’t sell for another 7 months. 

I meant to dig him back up before we moved…but I forgot.  I wonder how freaked out the new owners will be to find a saint with a super glued head wrapped in sock.

Does burying St. Joseph help you sell your house?  Well, ours sold…but not quickly (but how quick is quick in the housing market?).  Maybe we should add some clause for extra months of ownership for mishandling the saint?

What crazy things have you done to sell a home?